Kicking MS to the Curb

Kicking MS to the Curb steps out of the box of multiple sclerosis with determination and humor. The MS journey brings challenges and concerns, stumbles and successes, triumphs and trouncings. We celebrate races run and battles won. And we stumble, reel and rise to try again.

Throughout, the orange thread traces our dogged determination to continue placing one foot in front of the other for as long as possible - until we win, until healing comes, or until the medical miracle is found.

Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Saturday

Lost my glasses atop my head again!

Stop me, if you’ve heard this one. Heck, you may have done it too!

Blame it on MS fog, if you want. Because vision issues are common among those with multiple sclerosis, we tend to wear eyeglasses regularly.

How many times have I searched for my eyeglasses, only to find that I am wearing them on top of my head? (True confessions: I’ve done this with sunglasses too. My kids tease me repeatedly about the time they caught me with a pair of sunglasses and a pair of eyeglasses riding on top of my hair.)

Is it really such a terrible idea to wear glasses on top of your head? Maybe.

Hair products, natural oils and sweat can muck up your glasses. And it’s hard to move those eyeglasses around without leaving fingerprints on the lenses.

Eyeglasses can bend stretch and lose their proper fit by sitting atop your head. No one likes wearing wiggly spectacles!
After repeated wearings, eyeglass hinges loosen and break. (And how can you see what you’re doing with those tiny eyeglass repair kits, if your glasses are broken? That’s right. You need another pair of glasses to do it!)
Too-tight eyeglass frames can give you a headache, and MSers already have plenty of those.
Oops? Glasses tend to scratch and break when they fall off your head too many times.
Hats don’t fit, if they are put on over those glasses on your head.
Eyeglasses aren’t actually helpful, unless they are on your eyes.

OK, we get it. But we do it anyway. We give our eyes a break and stick those glasses up on our heads, regardless of the consequences. Plus, a pair of eyeglasses can make a handy headband.

Complicating matters further, many of us stash our glasses on our necklaces (or neckties), on the front opening of a shirt of sweater, or simply loose in a pocket. Those special specs can get crushed, smashed, or dropped. (Don’t even ask me what happens when the glasses are stashed in a back jeans pocket. It wasn’t pretty.)

I’ve worn my glasses riding on top of my head, tucked in the neckline of a shirt, or dangling from a necklace more times than I can count. That’s why I sometimes look like I am dancing the Macarena while looking for them.

Eyeglasses belong in their protective cases, whenever we aren’t wearing them to see. But what if we can’t remember where we put those cases?

It’s a quandary for sure.

Good thing I stock up on those cheat cheater-readers. I’d sure hate to lose or damage pricey prescription eyeglasses!

Now, if I could only find my car keys …

Related items:

Image/s: Adapted from public domain photo

Please visit my Amazon author page as well. You are invited to join the Kicking MS to the Curb page on Facebook.

Monday

New doctors = New mountains of paperwork

Saw a new doctor today. Gee, I forgot how much fun that is. Actually, I think I liked the doctor, but the initial office-entry phase is a pain in the neck. Anyone with multiple sclerosis or another chronic medical condition knows the drill.

Don’t you just love the flurry of fill-in-the-blank pages that fly at you, every time you enter a new medical specialist’s office?

“Please plan to come a few minutes early for your appointment to fill out some paperwork.”

Some paperwork?

“Don’t you people share information with each other?” I wanted to shout. “Can’t we sign some authorization form to allow you to transmit basic paperwork to one another?”

Seriously. I’ve filled out Job Applications that required less detail and repetition.

Wait. What’s that sound in the distant background?

That’s right. It’s the sound of 25 trees, falling to the ground to produce several more reams of 20# white bond for new patient medical files.

“Here ya go,” chirps the cheery receptionist, passing you a sturdy clipboard with a stack of sheets attached to it. That’s right. It was a two-handed pass. That’s how heavy the thing is.

If you are an MSer (like me), you maybe even cringe a bit, as you accept the heavy clipboard. Maybe your hands are cramping or tingling today. Either way, the first appointment paperwork is a tall order.

As you heft the weighty assignment, the receptionist reminds you that yet another copy of your current insurance ID is needed. So you wrestle your card from your wallet and hand it over.

You find a seat in the waiting room and pick up the logo-imprinted clicker pen, which (of course) doesn’t work. So you check your pockets for another one and begin scrawling down your private identity information on one form, two forms, three forms …

How many times can you write your own name, address, phone number, and next of kin in one sitting?

Then you flip through 34 pages of HIPAA laws and related disclaimers. At last, you sign the final sheet, just as the nurse or med tech calls your name.

What, are they watching you scribble in your answers, just to time their summons?

Is this freshman study hall, or what?

So you stand up and follow into the inner sanctum, where the initial exam takes place.

As you kick off your shoes and step onto the dreaded Physician Scale, or perhaps as you sit and endure the torture-tight Blood Pressure Cuff, the nurse or med tech asks you if you’ve experienced any new MS issues.

Well, as a matter of fact …

Can we just be honest here and add writer’s cramp to the regular list of Multiple Sclerosis Symptoms?

Image/s:

Adapted from public domain artwork

Feel free to follow on Google Plus and Twitter. You are invited to join the Kicking MS to the Curb page on Facebook and the Making the Most of MS board on Pinterest as well.

Friday

Yucky: Describing multiple sclerosis from A to Z

Living with multiple sclerosis requires an element of spunk and spirit. You might say a person becomes downright plucky, dealing with a chronic medical condition that is absolutely yucky.

What does “yucky” even mean?

It’s an example of onomatopoeia, which is any word that looks and sounds like what it means. We say something is yucky when we find it cruddy, disagreeable, discomforting, disgusting, distasteful, foul, gross, icky, nasty, offensive, repugnant, rotten, and unpleasant.

That pretty much describes multiple sclerosis.

Any or all of those words fit, especially during MS’ worst moments. And that’s not just when the MonSter disrupts an MS warrior’s basic bodily functions, interfering even with personal hygiene. (OK, that’s really yucky!) And that doesn’t happen to all of us.

This thing called MS is yucky because it scars up our brains. It makes our heads spin. It makes our extremities (and other parts) randomly tingle, twitch, sting, burn, or go absolutely numb. It’s a senseless sick (and still incurable) condition that can make us walk drunkenly without drinking, battle motion sickness while staying still, and trip over things that aren’t even there.

That’s pretty yucky. Good thing we’re plucky, ‘cause we’re not getting stucky by this MonStrous schmucky.

Related item/s: